Daily Reckless
 
 
NEWS published 12.02am

OLD FIRM DENOUNCED
The Young Flaccid Hit Back

Recent allegations of favouritism have been hurled at Scotland's elderly following recent governmental policies endowing them with freak hair, free Wurther's Originals and centrally heated baffies.

Now their boast of being old and firm is rankling the young and flaccid. A spokesperson for the Youth of Today, Dr Draylon Curtains, said:

'We have been investigating, researching and generally fiddling about in the murky recesses of the wrinkly underworld and have discovered some startling facts. Firstly, these people are taking up way too many of our earth years. Secondly, they have indeed consumed all the meat filled pastry cases and, thirdly, they never get as much homework as me.'

It is believed that Dr Draylon is telling his mum and that severe retribution of a tongue wagging nature may ensue.

Many middle-aged persons, meanwhile, have expressed concern and bewilderment at the whole situation and don't know which way to turn. Signposts have been strategically placed outside B&Q stores throughout the country in order to help them.

back to top

 
 
 
GO BACK TO HOMEPAGE
 
 
ALSO IN THIS SECTION
 

TOMMY SHERRYBIN - EXCLUSIVE PICS

DUNDEE FIGHTS BACK

FIRST FREAK HAIR RECIPIENT

ERMINEM SHOCKARAMA

THE SOUTERS

ARCHIVES

READERS LETTERS

YAHOOTS!

WHO WANTS TO BE A PHILOSOPHER?


  • or click here for more stories