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COLUMNISTS published
12.02am
 PETER
PERKINS PONDERS
You
Can Come If You Like
‘You can come if you like.’
‘Do
you want me to come?’
‘If
you like.’
‘Yes
but do you want me to?’
‘Yes,
if you want to.’
‘Yes
but do you want me to?’
‘I
want you to come if you want to.’
‘I
don’t know if you want me to.’
‘I’d
like you to come.’
‘So
you want me to come?’
‘If
you want to.’
‘I’m
not coming.’
‘Why?’
‘You
don’t want me to.’
‘I
didn’t say that.’
‘Yes
but you didn’t say you want me to so you probably
don’t.’
‘I
do want you to come if you want to.’
‘I
only want to if you want me to.’
‘If
I say I want you to come and you then say you’ll come,
you might not really want to come.’
‘I
don’t know where I am now, I don’t know whether to
come or not.’
‘I
just don’t want to pressure you, I want to leave it
to you.’
‘All
right, I’ll come.’
‘Are
you sure you want to........' etc .
by Peter Perkins of Comedy
Genius
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