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WHEN JEFFREY
MET BIGGSY (published
August 4 2001) Click here for full moving movie
SUNDAY
PROUST LAUNCHED (published
August 11 2001) The Daily Reckless is proud to announce the launch of its new sister paper, The Sunday Proust. Filling a void in the market for top quality reportage of a Sunday type nature, the Proust hopes to satiate those in need of yet more whimsical badinage and a chance to participate in all manner of surreal gossiping and extreme philosophy. In order to ensure your copy, simply cut out this page from your screen and present it to your local newsagent cum butchers whilst exclaiming loudly, 'I am completely bananas and wish to reserve a copy of top notch journalistic excellence at this very boutique. I understand that everything I say may, and most definetely will, be held up to ridicule by everyone in the known universe. Thank you.' Click here for The Sunday Proust
EDINBURGH SIDEBURNS
2001 (published
August 11 2001) Pure quality maaaaaaaaaaaan The new programme for this year's cultural spectacular they call the Sideburns is available right here. To book tickets for these events simply fold a crisp twenty pound note four times and insert briskly into your floppy drive whilst reciting the mantra, 'I need help...fast.' We will supply a full medical team and surplus farmyard animals if you can stand the mess. Don't forget to ask the person who pays the phone bill just what exactly they think they're playing at and would it be possible for them to take over complete financial responsibilty for the running of your life till the end of all time or until they stop repeating Star Trek, whichever happens first. Toodle pip culture clowns, and see you in the furry dorm.
PRAYERS ANSWERED
ONLINE (published
August 11 2001)
Punters can now have their prayers answered by chatting on the internet to the man upstairs. A spokesangel for the deity's law firm Hap, Hazard and Messy said: 'Yes we have several bananas and we're not afraid to use them.' Roughly translated this means that the new service is available to all at the folowing address: YER MAW WOBBLES
(published
August 18 2001)
GET BLOTTO! (published
August 18 2001) Gambling's Great Isn't it? Yes, you too can join in with the scratch card game from the Reckless that's driving the nation Blotto crazy! Just match 3 numbers and win some booze! To claim your prize simply jot down your name and address in Swahili (backwards) on the back of the computer screen containing the winning numbers and post your monitor to: Reckless
Competitions JOLLY JIGGLING
JUGGLERS (published
August 25
2001) On me 'ead son They messing with my head. Now mess with theirs. If you've ever wanted to juggle a juggler, here's your chance. See how they play keepy uppy with their bonces... FESTIVAL FLASH
FLOODS (published
August 25
2001) Our state of the ark camera captures all the latest action as the arts capital of the moment succumbs to sogginess on a stupendous scale... Click here for Festival Flood Cam
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A
new service being offered by the Lord Almighty himself has been launched
on the apathetic godless public.