ALLOTMENT GAROTTEMENT
Killer poet still on loose

The bizarre killing spree of the serial poetry killer, who chooses the method or place of slaughter by rhyming, continues.

Yesterday, a decapitated body was discovered in a council garden patch presumably to generate the above headline.

The gruesome murderer's preoccupation with verse first came to light when his first victim's body was found at the bottom of the Thames weighed down by several volumes of a Nineteenth century poet's work. This prompted the headline, Browning Drowning.

There followed the crunching Girder Murder, evil dentistry with Filling Killing, the ironic Hugging Mugging, nauseating Copper Chopper and Inland Revenue revenge slaying, Taxing Axing.

The notorious Woking Choking and Tooting shooting followed by looting was then surpassed by the beheading with bedding at a Wedding in Reading.

The sheer horror of the thigh slapping knee-capping and angling strangling was then superceded by the failed attempt to move into showbiz rhyming death by hanging Bernard Manning.

So far, the police are stumped by the rhymster's antics but a spokesperson said:

'We're not about to sum up this investiagation with a cheap gag, you slag.'

back to top