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Have your say -write to the editor and let rip!

The editor welcomes your comments on the burning issues of the day. If you have something you want to get off your chest or any other part of your anatomy, you can contact him below.

Even if you do not accept this one, it is now over two months since a contribution by a reader was accepted onto the letters page of your trite, funless, repetitive and, now, ultimately BO -RING, ego-s(h)ite. The original concept, a parody of a newspaper we love to hate, was excellent; however it has not developed beyond a schoolboyish attempt at milking a 'coo' to utter exhaustion - and reader fatigue.

ALM
(Posted 3/12/2000)

Ooooh. Get her! Methinks someone has been partaking of the pompous ass pills. What do you think readers? Trite? Funless? Schoolboyish? Cripes. Us? Bum snotters jobbies to you, A.

Hey Capt Boab,
How's it gaun? The site's a hoot (and that's not easy to say with this much drink under your belt). I particularly like R2, for its incisive fluff and pithy fashion news, though it does not carry as many pictures of birds in their pants as do some other publications. You should bring out a hard-copy edition, by the way. I was going to say it would sell like hot cakes, but since no one sells hot cakes any more, I do not think that a clever analogy. Better perhaps to say it would sell like condoms at the General Assembly of the Church of Scotland.

Honk-honk,
Rab

(Posted 14/12/2000)

Cheers. Incidentally, Rab, you'll be delighted to know that we now have loads of pictures of birds in their pants in our new 2001 calendar.

Dear Boab
Who is ALM? A Labour Minister/Moron perchance? As far as I can tell the original concept hasn't changed and has indeed developed to include the excellent R2. I utterly resent LM's feeble attempt to undermine such a great wee read. Could ALMs utter exhaustion have more to do with sticking closely to Teflon men ?

Yours
Outraged of Partick

(Posted 18/12/2000)

Sir
Has anyone noticed the remarkable resemblance between the erstwhile ejukashun minister, Ah'm Yer Man and a medical dummy head representing facial muscle and tissues?

A surgeon
(Posted 27/1/2001)

Sam Galbraith
A dummy

Sir
I am delighted to see that you have not lowered your impeccable standards by reporting any morsel of information from the football on Sunday. As is now commonplace in the rest of "gutter press", no respect for the feelings of Rangers fans is shown in what is a very difficult time for us..........eh, them. These so called "newspapers" are only interested in cashing in on the misery of others by reporting stories that no-one is really interested in. Thank GOD that your paper has displayed it's sensitivity to this matter.

Yours Faithfully
Columbus Knight

(Posted 14/2/2001)

Sir
I am struck by the remarkable resemblance between eminent historian, Dr David Starkey and local shop owner from the League of Gentlemen, Edward Reece. Are they related?

Curious
from Tillicoultry (and who wouldn't be)
(Posted 3/3/2001)

Remarkable, indeed, Curious. They would appear to both be related to pigs.


Regarding the culling of Tory politicians for being ugly - Labour had better pray they're not next - 'cos the party with the smallest gene pool on this or any other planet has clearly suffered from all those years of inbreeding between all the Labourite families to ensure their safe council seats from parent to offspring go to those of the "right background".

Just look (if you dare) at Wendy Alexander, who fell out of the ugly tree & hit every branch on the way down. Everyone has a right to be hideous, but as in all matters she badly abuses the privilege. Where's the nearest bolt gun & quicklime mass burial pit?

Yours for every politician up against the nearest wall & shot
Mark Boyle.
(Posted 5/4/2001)

Aw - we think Wendy's cute in an intriguing Ripley's Believe it or Not way

Dear Editor,
What is it about this day and age that forces people (like yersel) to constantly muck around with formulas that work! Your new layout does not look like a newspaper at all and consequently I find myself doubting that what you write is either true or pertinent (I like that last word so I just threw it in there).
You have shaken my faith in your online newspaper causing me to doubt whether there is actually such a thing as "news" at all! Has this been a conspiracy all along, is it possible that because there is not such a thing as news you are making it all up?
Please tell me NO, as I live my life according to the bible that is the Daily Reckless and would hate to have to resume buying the Scotsman or God forgive the Herald, as I know that they use their mediums to propogate and spout the awfullest shite?

regards
Shamus Notroo

(Posted 9/5/2001)

Dear Shamus, We thought long and hard about changing the look of the Reckless and while our experimentations have upset some traditionalists, we believe our commitment to real News (yes, Shamus, it really is really real) co-exists with the other funky Hi-Tech stuff. So pick and choose whatever you like out of the newly expanded Reckless - it's free you know, unlike those other rags you mention.

Sir
Has anyone noticed the remarkable resemblance between the future prime minister of England and a rubber latex puppet?

yours
Vic Tishus
(Posted 9/6/2001)

Cripes, you're right, Vic. The Tory Party seem to be infiltrated by sci fi characters. Think of Mekon Hague, Redwood (another Spock) and Ann Widdecombe (any scary monster you care to mention)

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