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READERS LETTERS

 

Have your say -write to the editor and let rip!

The editor welcomes your comments on the burning issues of the day. If you have something you want to get off your chest or any other part of your anatomy, you can contact him below.

Dear Sir
I feel I must object to your insensitive handling of the Section 28 debate. Some of us poofs have feelings too you know.

Maurice Mince-Lightly

(Posted 6/3/2000)

Sir
As a lifetime subscriber to the Daily Reckless, I feel compelled to express my disappointment that you have chosen to print a complaint from one of those nancy boys intent on corrupting every bone and rippling sinew of our youngsters' bodies. It fills me with disgust to imagine the sweating craved cavortings of such lust filled throbbing sex monsters. I stand firm and proud against such licentious behaviour and only hope that in future you shall endeavour to banish any further communication from people whose only joy in life is to obtrusively and perniciously inveigle their despicable vices into the hearts and minds of lithe, pert, voluptuous and writhing orgasmic bodies melting uncontrollably in the uninhibited thrashings of steaming pulsating sex.

Excuse me while I mop this up.

Colonel Jock Stiffly
(Posted 7/3/2000)

Sir
When is the Daily Reckless going to expose the scandal of schemies sucking their fags and wingeing about poverty. It is patently obvious such state spongers must be rolling in it if they can afford to smoke.

Anun
(Posted 8/3/2000)

Sir
Have any of your readers noticed the remarkable resemblance between Arnold Schwarzenegger and Donald Dewar?

Mr Magoo
(Posted 8/3/2000)

Sir
I wholeheartedly concur with every opinion and prejudice espoused by this mighty organ.

A Sychophant

(Posted 8/3/2000)

Sir
When will I, will I be famous?

Smarmy Throwback

(Posted 9/3/2000)

Sir
Has anyone noticed the striking resemblance between SNP MSP Kay Ullrich and STV political reporter Fiona Ross? Do I win £5?

Cheers,
Gareth Mackie (the world's second greatest living journalist)
(Posted 10/6/2000)

We don't watch STV around here, Sir, and indeed are shocked, nay, astonished that they even have such a thing as a political reporter.- Ed.

Sir
I am writing to congratulate you on a fantastic piece of majestic journalism that is without a shadow of a doubt, of the highest order.
One question though; Do I know you from days gone by? Are you a middle-aged, white haired, bespectacled gentleman with two unruly children? It seems an amazing coincidence, but if it is you and you get famous and all that try and remember yer pals from way back, eh neebur? Ah mean, times are hard, and if you could see your way to lending me a couple of quid, for old times sake, you know, when we used tae be buddies.

Yours expectantly
Andrew S. Beveridge esq.
(Posted 14/6/2000)

PS When I say a couple of quid, I mean more like 20 or 30. But you're an intelligent man and I'm sure I'm just insulting your intelligence by saying that. Sorry.

I'm afraid you're sadly mistaken. I am in fact a bespectacled unruly gentleman with two middle-haired children. And yes you are insulting my intelligence. Now bugger off you scrounger. - Ed

Sir

Watching "Georgeous" Lord George Robertson, Grande Fropmage of NUTO on Scutvision on Sunday, (yeah, folks! a serious programme on ITV) I found myself musing - Does he wear a wig or is it all down to lashings of Grecian 2000? Enlighten me please.

Neil D Paterson
(Posted 15/6/2000)

Well, the man has to do something to detract from his stunning good looks. - Ed

Sir

Its pishin doon an bloody freezin here in Germany as well. Only here its known as pisst herunter und scheiss kalt.

Yours
Andrew Graeme
(Posted 4/7/2000)

Thanks for the weather update, Andrew. It's always a pleasure to be linguistically enlightened, don't you think? - Ed

Clearly, a case of Deutschland Łnter Umbrellas.

A.L. Mitchell
(Posted 7/7/2000)

Euro'll living in a U-boat submarine, a U-Boat submarine...!

Neil D Paterson
(Posted 7/7/2000)

Sir,

As a true-blue, upstanding subject of the Monarchy I trust that your preparations (by way of a Joyous Supplement) to celebrate, honour and adore our own Mother Teresa, the source of our National Dignity, the Nation's favourite Granny and Source of Everlasting Wisdom, Wit and Glory - the Great Wartime Patriot and Leader - are well-advanced, and will be fitting to the occasion. It's not every people that has Thora Hird as one of its own.

N. D. P.
(Posted 17/7/2000)

We're waiting till Ma'am pops her clogs so's we can bring out a special double celebration whammy type supplement - Ed.

Sir,

Has anyone noticed the striking resemblance between Gordon Brown's new missus, Sarah Whatserteeth and stunning fashion designer Vivian Westwood?

Concerned,

A. Well, Wishaw
(Posted 11/8/2000)

You've got a point there, especially since the rumours started of a forthcoming project from Flash and Sarah concerning interior decorating influenced punk band the Sexy Pastels.

Vivienne Westwood Eva Brown
Sarah and Vivienne - separated at birth?

Sir

Any photies I have seen of the new Mrs Chancellor Broon (and I only read the more respectable organs of the press) suggest that "Eva" has discovered, too late, that her dowry is not tax-deductible - that she will have to pay the "fool" whack! But then, she's a woman in New Labour.

N.D.P.
(Posted 13/8/2000)

Sir

Re: David Shayler. Until his surrender, today, to the forces of Blairite darkness, I thought he was well-meaning - if somewhat hapless. For the first time, on this , Monday, 21st August - at about 18.45 - I tried to access his website: closed down, but plenty of illiterate RUBBISH from fools and hooligans.
In 1997, one of the carrots dangled before the naff fools who comprised "the electorate" was freedom of information. [!! ???, you cry] Well, Tone's a Tory (and where's the other twin?) more concerned about his family's privacy.
As Burns might (and almost did) put it:

An idiot man, to Honour lost,
Who know him best, despise him most.

Or again

Light lay the Earth on Tone's chest -
His he'rt wis aye so tender
But build a Castle on his head,
His skull will prop it under.

I could go on - but I won't!

N. D.P.
(Posted 22/8/2000)

We're getting seriously concerned fror N.D.P's mental welfare around here. What is he on? Answers on a postcard.

Sir

I write to congratulate you on your paper,a bastion of morality in this godless age. However, I cannot help but feel that your coverage is geared towards the "lads" and that we wimmen are being ignored.
Where is yer agony aunt or uncle, recipes, what's up doc, fashion columns, not forgetting the horrorscope. All staple ingredients of a successful tab..
I am sure these additions will only enhance the evergrowing reputation of the Reckless and should in the fullness of time increase the number of female readerlings.

Yours in anticipation
Name and adddress withheld
Kelvinside
(Posted 26/8/2000)

What a splendid suggestion, Name and address withheld (catchy moniker by the by). Rest assured we shall be silencing the lads forthwith. Something for the ladies coming soon.

Sir,

Has anyone noticed the striking resemblance between Craig, the winner of the Big Brother voyeurfest and a monkey?

Concerned,

Claire Conscience , Bucks
(Posted 20/9/2000)

A Monkey
A monkey
Craig
  Craig

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