NEWS published
12.02am
PIGEONS
ON DOPE
Squiffy birds higher than you think
Pigeons
dropping from the sky have been found to contain large
amounts of cannabis resin in their systems.
New
evidence has come to light which suggests that tourists
at Trafalgar Square are giving the birds a spliff
in order to observe their comical antics thereafter.
The
Animal Liberation Front announced it was setting up
rehab clinics for pigeons who might develop a serious
habit. It outlined the nightmare scenario of flocks
of junkie birds demanding narcotics with menaces from
innocent passers-by and that.
Meanwhile
public awareness campaigns are being hastily constructed
in order to wean the flappers from the weed with the
message, Just Say Noah Sent You.
Vets
are treating the case as Mauritius.
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