POKEMON DRIVE BY SHOOTING
Gotta mass murder 'em all

A crazed ten year old opened fire on a crowd of innocent shoppers in a busy newsagents yesterday, killing twelve and narrowly bruising several others.

It is understood the newsagent was selling pokemon cards of a particularly rare nature which the child killer was eager to obtain.

The deaths are just the latest in a series of pokemon related crime waves sweeping the world.

Youngsters all over the globe are routinely gunning down grannies, torching teachers and savaging shopkeepers in an effort to complete their collections.

One youngster commented: 'Hey, you gotta catch 'em all! So, a few people die along the way - is that so bad?'

Someone else said, 'Well, yes, actually.'

Police are treating the case as audacious.

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