ATTEMPT TO BAN MISERABLE PEOPLE

2002 PUT ON HOLD

BAD MAN HITS LOLLIPOP LADY

THE END IS NIGH

BIG SCARY CRIME FIGURES

WORKERS REVOLUTION IN THE OFFING

MUMBELESE DECLARED OFFICIAL LANGUAGE OF TEENAGERS

EAT FOOD

CUTE ANIMAL STORY

PEOPLE POOR SHOCK

THE NIGHTS ARE FAIR DRAWIN' IN

DRUGS BARONS' NOBILITY QUESTIONED

MISSING LINK FOUND

IT'S ALL GOD'S FAULT

PIGEONS ON DOPE

TOLERANCE ABOLISHED

MURDER INCIDENTS INCREASING

TABLOID HEADLINES PREY ON GULLIBLE

NOW THAT WE'VE FOUND LOVE

PEOPLE IN GLASS HOUSES

POKEMON DRIVE BY SHOOTING

SEX

DRUGS

VIOLENCE

HEADLINES WANTED

SATIRICAL NEWS STORIES BEGIN TO LOSE BITE

AW, WHO BLOODY CARES

NOBODY'S READING THIS STUFF ANYWAY

I HATE YOU ALL

IT'S ALL SO BLEEDIN' POINTLESS

YOU'RE MY BEST FRIEND

DON'T CRY FOR ME AL PACINO

GIRAFFES KICK ASS

ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ