NEWS published
12.02am
BIG
SCARY CRIME FIGURES
Oooh, lock the door, I'm dead feart
16 Million big huge crimes happened last week. Is
that no scary or what? Feel feart, feel very feart.
So
what you gonna do about it, eh? Probably talk about
all they really hard bastards down the pub and pretend
to be disgusted by it all when really you have nothing
else to talk about and it gives you a thrill because
your own life is so empty.
The
Daily Reckless loves you kind of people 'cos
you're so shallow and worthless and yet think you're
the salt of the earth.
Wake
up, petty criminal lovers - you're actually worthless
shitbags! Congratulations - you are our ideal readership
and we love you.
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